Alan Whitney Brown (b.1952) is an American writer and comedian best known for work on Saturday Night Live in the 1980s. In addition to writing for the program, he appeared opposite Dennis Miller in a biting satirical Weekend Update commentary segment called “The Big Picture.” He won a 1988 Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in a Variety or Music Program, along with Al Franken, Tom Davis, Phil Hartman, Mike Myers, Lorne Michaels and Conan O’Brien. He was also one of the original correspondents on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show from 1996 to 1998.
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
—A. Whitney Brown
I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.
—A. Whitney Brown
Topics: Discontent
There are a billion people in China. It’s not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you’re a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.
—A. Whitney Brown
Topics: Humility
Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.
—A. Whitney Brown
Topics: Gardening
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
—A. Whitney Brown
Topics: Laughter
I’m not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn’t exist? That’s way too convoluted for me.
—A. Whitney Brown
Topics: Atheism
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