I don’t excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Can we talk?
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, “Get the hell off my property”.
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
You have to laugh and cry over and over again with someone before you feel comfortable.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes — and six months later you have to start all over again.
I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can’t make it through one door, I’ll go through another door — or I’ll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Topics: Optimism, Adversity
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