Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain’t so wicked as their neighbors.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Forgiveness
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Flattery
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Silver Linings, Blessings, Adversity
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles — safe on her own nose all the time.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Dogs, Animals
It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Worry
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
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Thomas Masson American Journalist
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Don Marquis American Humorist, Journalist
Andy Rooney American Writer
Leo Rosten Russian-born American Humorist
Sam Levenson American Humorist