My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one that it encourages and keeps in the game a number of writers who would be far better employed if they abandoned the pen and took to work.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Books
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Criticism
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say ‘when.’
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Insults
Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black moustache.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Advice
Marriage isn’t a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Marriage
I always advise people never to give advice.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Advice
It’s a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people don’t want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Manners
After all, golf is only a game, said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don’t realise what they are saying.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Golf
Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else’s cash.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Divorce
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say “when!”
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Fashion
He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Golf
Flowers are happy things.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Flowers
So always look for the silver lining
And try to find the sunny side of life.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Optimism
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Golf
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
—P. G. Wodehouse
Topics: Golf
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
J. B. Priestley British Novelist, Playwright, Essayist
Jane Austen English Novelist
Evelyn Waugh British Novelist, Satirist
J. G. Ballard English Novelist
E. M. Forster English Novelist
Margaret Drabble English Novelist
A. P. Herbert English Humorist
D. H. Lawrence English Novelist
Henry Fielding English Novelist
William Makepeace Thackeray English Novelist