Those men are most apt to be obsequious and conciliating abroad, who are under the discipline of shrews at home.
—Washington Irving (1783–1859) American Essayist, Biographer, Historian
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.
—Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919–2016) Hungarian-born Film Actress
A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
—Ogden Nash (1902–71) American Writer of Sophisticated Light Verse
I’ve never yet met a man who could look after me. I don’t need a husband. What I need is a wife.
—Joan Collins (b.1933) English Actor, Author, Columnist
You know I won’t turn over a new leaf I am so obstinate, but then I am no less obstinate in being your affectionate Husband.
—William Hogarth (1697–1764) English Painter, Cartoonist, Social Critic
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
—Agatha Christie (1890–1976) British Novelist, Short-Story Writer, Playwright
His purity was too great, his aspiration too high for this poor, miserable world! His great soul is now only enjoying that for which it was worthy!
—Queen Victoria (1819–1901) British Royal
To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.
—Simone de Beauvoir (1908–86) French Philosopher, Writer, Feminist
At first a woman doesn’t want anything but a husband, but as soon as she gets one, she wants everything else in the world.
—E. W. Howe (1853–1937) American Novelist, Editor