Gratitude—the meanest and most sniveling attribute in the world.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Gratitude
The best way to keep children at home is to make home a pleasant atmosphere – and to let the air out of the tires.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Home, Children
Lips that taste of tears, they say,
Are the best for kissing.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Kiss, Crying
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Manners
Enjoyed it! One more drink and I’d have been under the host.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Parties, Party
Why is it no one ever sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it’s always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Wealth, Giving, Charity
They laid their hands upon my head,
They stroked my cheek and brow;
And time could heal a hurt, they said,
And time could dim a vow.
And they were pitiful and mild
Who whispered to me then;
The heart that breaks in April, child;
Will mend in May again.
Oh, many a mended heart they knew;
So old they were, and wise.
And little did they have to do
To come to me with lies!
Who flings me silly talk of May
Shall meet a bitter soul;
For June was nearly spent away
Before my heart was whole.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Heart
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Boredom, Curiosity, Bores
Money is only congealed snow.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Snow
Drink, and dance and laugh and lie, love the reeling midnight through, for tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Party, Parties
Well, there are always those who cannot distinguish between glitter and glamour …
—Dorothy Parker
And if my heart be scarred and burned, the safer, I, for all I learned.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Experience
Women and elephants never forget.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Memories
Work is the province of cattle.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Work
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Birth, Pregnancy
I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damned things.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Quotations
He’d have given me rolling lands,
Houses of marble, and billowing farms,
Pearls, to trickle between my hands,
Smoldering rubies, to circle my arms.
You- you’d only a lilting song,
Only a melody, happy and high,
You were sudden and swift and strong-
Never a thought for another had I.
He’d have given me laces rare,
Dresses that glimmered with frosty sheen,
Shining ribbons to wrap my hair,
Horses to draw me, as fine as a queen.
You- you’d only to whistle low,
Gayly I followed wherever you led.
I took you, and I let him go-
Somebody ought to examine my head!
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Choice
I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Wealth
All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn’t sit in the same room with me.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Writing, Legacy, Autobiography
Hollywood money isn’t money. It’s congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Hollywood
As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you’ll live through the night.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Difficulty
Art is a form of catharsis.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Arts, Art, Artists
Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn, the word
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Fame
Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Sorrow, Sadness
Travel, trouble, music, art,
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme –
I never said they feed my heart,
But still they pass my time.
—Dorothy Parker
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Health
Where’s the man could ease a heart, like a satin gown?
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Fashion, Dress
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch is, and it darts away.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Love
Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I’d been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Friendship, Sorrow, Reflection, Wine, Idleness
This book is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Books, Reading
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Cornelia Otis Skinner American Actress, Playwright
- James Russell Lowell American Poet, Critic
- Edwin Markham American Poet
- Stanley Kubrick American Film Director
- Saul Bellow Canadian-born American Novelist
- Joyce Carol Oates American Novelist
- Charlotte Perkins Gilman American Feminist, Writer
- Woody Allen American Film Actor, Director
- Kimberly Johnson American Poet
- Edna St. Vincent Millay American Poet
Leave a Reply