A gentleman is any man who wouldn’t hit a woman with his hat on.
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Garrison Keillor American Broadcaster, Writer
- Evelyn Waugh British Novelist, Satirist
- Mark Twain American Humorist
- Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw) American Humorist
- Cullen Hightower American Humorist
- Don Marquis American Humorist
- Andy Rooney American Writer
- Leo Rosten Russian-born American Humorist
- Sam Levenson American Humorist
- Bill Bryson American Humorist