Rodney Dangerfield (1921–2004) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase “I don’t get no respect!” and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School.
More: Wikipedia (via CC-BY-SA license) • READ: Works by Rodney Dangerfield
If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life at all.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Sex
Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Difficulty
I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Aging, Age
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Marriage
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Children
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Acting, Actors, Emotions
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Eating
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
—Rodney Dangerfield
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Jealousy
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Marriage
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
—Rodney Dangerfield
Topics: Honesty
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
—Rodney Dangerfield
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