Sure men were born to lie, and women to believe them!
—John Gay (1685–1732) English Poet, Dramatist
What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.
—Bob Dylan (b.1941) American Singer-songwriter
I must have women — there is nothing unbends the mind like them.
—John Gay (1685–1732) English Poet, Dramatist
Some men have a den in their home, while others just growl all over the house.
—Unknown
Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.
—Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) Irish Satirist
Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set. This is true of earthly as of heavenly things. Even the man whose object is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices before he can accomplish his object; and how much more so he who would realize a strong and well-poised life.
—James Allen (1864–1912) British Philosophical Writer
When a man is wrong and won’t admit it, he always gets angry.
—Thomas Chandler Haliburton (1796–1865) Canadian Author, Humorist, Businessperson, Judge
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are.
—Oscar Wilde (1854–1900) Irish Poet, Playwright
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
—Jerry Seinfeld (b.1954) American Comedian
If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.
—O. Henry (William Sydney Porter) (1862–1910) American Writer of Short Stories
Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
I really think that American gentlemen are the best after all, because kissing your hand may make you feel very good but a diamond and a sapphire bracelet lasts forever.
—Anita Loos (1888–1981) American Actor, Novelist, Screenwriter
A hairy body, and arms stiff with bristles, give promise of a manly soul.
—Juvenal (c.60–c.136 CE) Roman Poet
There is hardly an American male of my generation who has not at one time or another tried to master the victory cry of the great ape as it issued from the androgynous chest of Johnny Weissmuller, to the accompaniment of thousands of arms and legs snapping during attempts to swing from tree to tree in the backyards of the Republic.
—Gore Vidal (1925–48) American Novelist, Essayist, Journalist, Playwright
When you see a woman who can go nowhere without a staff of admirers, it is not so much because they think she is beautiful, it is because she has told them they are handsome.
—Jean Giraudoux (1882–1944) French Novelist, Playwright, Essayist
Men are the sport of circumstances, when the circumstances seem the sport of men.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (1788–1824) English Romantic Poet
A man’s brain has a more difficult time shifting from thinking to feeling than a women’s brain does.
—Barbara De Angelis (b.1951) American Lecturer, Author, TV Personality, Motivational Speaker
Macho doesn’t prove mucho.
—Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919–2016) Hungarian-born Film Actress
I think we’re a kind of desperation. We’re sort of a maddening luxury. The basic and essential human is the woman, and all that we’re doing is trying to brighten up the place. That’s why all the birds who belong to our sex have prettier feathers — because males have got to try and justify their existence.
—Orson Welles (1915–85) American Film Director, Actor
Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.
—Mignon McLaughlin (1913–83) American Journalist, Author
A man that is ashamed of passions that are natural and reasonable is generally proud of those that are shameful and silly.
—Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689–1762) English Aristocrat, Poet, Novelist, Writer
Men greet each other with a sock on the arm, women with a hug, and the hug wears better in the long run.
—Edward Hoagland (b.1932) American Essayist, Novelist
Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.
—Minna Antrim (1861–1950) American Writer, Epigrammist
I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don’t know one who wouldn’t fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.
—George Jean Nathan (1882–1958) American Drama Critic, Editor
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.
—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807–82) American Poet, Educator, Academic
Don’t accept rides from strange men – and remember that all men are as strange as hell.
—Robin Morgan (b.1941) American Activist, Writer, Poet, Editor
God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
—Robin Williams (b.1951) American Actor, Comedian
There are certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are of pretty woman to deserve them.
—Jane Austen (1775–1817) English Novelist
Alas! it is not the child but the boy that generally survives in the man.
—Arthur Helps (1813–75) English Dramatist, Essayist
A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
—George Jean Nathan (1882–1958) American Drama Critic, Editor
There are always women who will take men on their own terms. If I were a man I wouldn’t bother to change while there are women like that around.
—Ann Oakley (b.1944) English Sociologist, Writer, Feminist
Man dreams of fame while woman wakes to love.
—Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809–92) British Poet
Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.
—John Berger (1926–2017) English Art Critic, Novelist
Men’s second childhood begins when a woman gets a hold of him.
—J. M. Barrie (1860–1937) Scottish Novelist, Dramatist
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, “How can he want me the way I look in the morning?” It’s because we can’t see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
—Andy Rooney (b.1919) American Writer, Humorist, TV Personality
You can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad.
—Adlai Stevenson (1900–65) American Diplomat, Politician, Orator
If it’s true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers.
—Doris Day (1924–2019) American Actor, Singer, Animal Rights Activist
Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives.
—Mignon McLaughlin (1913–83) American Journalist, Author
The fact is, you have fallen lately, Cecily, into a bad habit of thinking for yourself. You should give it up. It is not quite womanly… men don’t like it.
—Oscar Wilde (1854–1900) Irish Poet, Playwright
No nice men are good at getting taxis.
—Katharine Whitehorn (b.1928) English Journalist, Writer, Columnist
Nature makes woman to be won and men to win.
—George William Curtis (1824–92) American Essayist, Public Speaker, Editor, Author
When a woman is very, very bad, she is awful, but when a man is correspondingly good, he is weird.
—Minna Antrim (1861–1950) American Writer, Epigrammist
There are three classes of men; the retrograde, the stationary and the progressive.
—Johann Kaspar Lavater (1741–1801) Swiss Theologian, Poet
Considering the absence of legal coercion, the surprising thing is that men have for so long, and, on the whole, so reliably, adhered to what we might call the “breadwinner ethic.”
—Barbara Ehrenreich (b.1941) American Social Critic, Essayist
Men are the enemies of women. Promising sublime intimacy, unequalled passion, amazing security and grace, they nevertheless exploit and injure in a myriad subtle ways. Without men the world would be a better place: softer, kinder, more loving; calmer, quieter, more humane.
—Ann Oakley (b.1944) English Sociologist, Writer, Feminist
The tragedy of machismo is that a man is never quite man enough.
—Germaine Greer (b.1939) Australia Academic, Journalist, Scholar, Writer
I do not know who first invented the myth of sexual equality. But it is a myth willfully fostered and nourished by certain semi-scientists and other fiction writers. And it has done more, I suspect, to unsettle marital happiness than any other false doctrine of this myth-ridden age.
—Phyllis McGinley (1905–78) American Children’s Books Writer, Poet, Writer of Children’s Books
The most threatened group in human societies as in animal societies is the unmated male: the unmated male is more likely to wind up in prison or in an asylum or dead than his mated counterpart. He is less likely to be promoted at work and he is considered a poor credit risk.
—Germaine Greer (b.1939) Australia Academic, Journalist, Scholar, Writer
How dwarfed against his manliness she sees the poor pretension, the wants, the aims, the follies, born of fashion and convention!
—John Greenleaf Whittier (1807–92) American Quaker Poet, Abolitionist
A pretty little collection of weaknesses and a terror of spiders are our indispensable stock-in-trade with the men.
—Colette (1873–1954) French Novelist, Performer
They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.
—Alexander Pope (1688–1744) English Poet
Men cease to interest us when we find their limitations.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–82) American Philosopher
Men are beasts and even beasts don’t behave as they do.
—Brigitte Bardot (b.1934) French Film Star
We do not commonly find men of superior sense amongst those of the highest fortune.
—Juvenal (c.60–c.136 CE) Roman Poet
Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism.
—Germaine Greer (b.1939) Australia Academic, Journalist, Scholar, Writer
A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
—Robert Frost (1874–1963) American Poet
Men and women, women and men; it will never work.
—Erica Jong (b.1942) American Novelist, Feminist
I don’t know why women want any of the things men have when one the things that women have is men.
—Coco Chanel (1883–1971) French Fashion Designer
A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he’s going to get sick on it.
—Lyndon B. Johnson (1908–73) American Head of State, Political leader
Good men do not always have grace and favor, lest they should be puffed up, and grow insolent and proud.
—John Chrysostom (c.347–407 CE) Archbishop of Constantinople
Man is a rational animal—so at least I have been told. Throughout a long life, I have looked diligently for evidence in favor of this statement, but so far I have not had the good fortune to come across it, though I have searched in many countries spread over three continents.
—Bertrand A. Russell (1872–1970) British Philosopher, Mathematician, Social Critic
Someone has to stand up for wimps.
—Barbara Ehrenreich (b.1941) American Social Critic, Essayist
I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
—Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919–2016) Hungarian-born Film Actress
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
—Gloria Steinem (b.1934) American Feminist, Journalist, Social Activist, Political Activist
The individual activity of one man with backbone will do more than a thousand men with a mere wishbone.
—William J. H. Boetcker (1873–1962) American Presbyterian Minister
A women knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
—Malcolm de Chazal (1902–81) Mauritian Writer, Painter, Visionary
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
—Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) American Humorist, Journalist
Women serve but to keep a man from better company.
—William Wycherley (c.1640–1716) English Dramatist
While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.
—Giovanni Boccaccio (1313–1375) Italian Writer, Poet
Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true.
—Julius Caesar (c.100–44BCE) Roman Statesman, Military General
Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch.
—Ian L. Fleming (1908–64) English Novelist, Journalist, Naval Intelligence Officer
It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.
—Gertrude Stein (1874–1946) American Writer
Man made one grave mistake: in answer to vaguely reformist and humanitarian agitation he admitted women to politics and the professions. The conservatives who saw this as the undermining of our civilization and the end of the state and marriage were right after all; it is time for the demolition to begin.
—Germaine Greer (b.1939) Australia Academic, Journalist, Scholar, Writer
A lady is smarter than a gentleman, maybe, she can sew a fine seam, she can have a baby, she can use her intuition instead of her brain, but she can’t fold a paper in a crowded train.
—Phyllis McGinley (1905–78) American Children’s Books Writer, Poet, Writer of Children’s Books
Men are just as sensitive, and in some ways more sensitive, than women are.
—Barbara De Angelis (b.1951) American Lecturer, Author, TV Personality, Motivational Speaker
There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.
—John F. Kennedy (1917–63) American Head of State, Journalist
The minute a man ceases to grow, no matter what his years, that minute he begins to be old.
—William James (1842–1910) American Philosopher, Psychologist, Physician
The cruelest thing a man can do to a woman is to portray her as perfection.
—D. H. Lawrence (1885–1930) English Novelist, Playwright, Poet, Essayist, Literary Critic
The real difference between men is energy. A strong will, a settled purpose, an invincible determination, can accomplish almost anything; and in this lies the distinction between great men and little men.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
The world would be happier if men had the same capacity to be silent that they have to speak.
—Baruch Spinoza (1632–77) Dutch Philosopher, Theologian
It takes a great man to give sound advice tactfully, but a greater to accept it graciously.
—Logan Pearsall Smith (1865–1946) American-British Essayist, Bibliophile
A successful man is one who lays a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.
—Swami Chinmayananda (1916–93) Indian Hindu Spiritual Teacher
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
—Katharine Hepburn (1907–2003) American Actor, TV Personality
The intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions.
—F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896–1940) American Novelist
As vivacity is the gift of women, gravity is that of men.
—Joseph Addison (1672–1719) English Essayist, Poet, Playwright, Politician
Women are one of the Almighty’s enigmas to prove to men that He knows more than they do.
—Ellen Glasgow (1873–1945) American Novelist
The man, most man,
Works best for men, and, if most men indeed,
He gets his manhood plainest from his soul:
While, obviously, this stringent soul itself
Obeys our old rules of development;
The Spirit ever witnessing in ours,
And Love, the soul of soul, within the soul,
Evolving it sublimely.
—Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806–61) English Poet
Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man.
—Erica Jong (b.1942) American Novelist, Feminist
Women are told from their infancy, and taught by the example of their mothers, that a little knowledge of human weakness, justly termed cunning, softness of temper, outward obedience and a scrupulous attention to a puerile kind of propriety, will obtain for them the protection of man.
—Mary Wollstonecraft (1759–97) English Writer, Feminist
All societies on the verge of death are masculine. A society can survive with only one man; no society will survive a shortage of women.
—Germaine Greer (b.1939) Australia Academic, Journalist, Scholar, Writer
Whether women are better than men I cannot say – but I can say they are certainly no worse.
—Golda Meir (1898–1978) Israeli Head of State
I am not the archetypal leading man. This is mainly for one reason: as you may have noticed, I have no hair.
—Patrick Stewart (b.1940) British Actor
Sometimes I have a notion that what might improve the situation is to have women take over the occupations of government and trade and to give men their freedom. Let them do what they are best at. While we scrawl interoffice memos and direct national or extranational affairs, men could spend all their time inventing wheels, peering at stars, composing poems, carving statues, exploring continents — discovering, reforming, or crying out in a sacramental wilderness. Efficiency would probably increase, and no one would have to worry so much about the Gaza Strip or an election.
—Phyllis McGinley (1905–78) American Children’s Books Writer, Poet, Writer of Children’s Books
As long as men are free to ask what they must, free to say what they think, free to think what they will, freedom can never be lost and science can never regress.
—J. Robert Oppenheimer (1904–67) American Nuclear Physicist
I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself.
—Yoko Ono (b.1933) Japanese Artist, Musician, Campaigner
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.
—Jean Kerr (1922–2003) Irish-American Author, Playwright
Nature has not placed us in an inferior rank to men, no more than the females of other animals, where we see no distinction of capacity, though I am persuaded if there was a commonwealth of rational horses… it would be an established maxim amongst them that a mare could not be taught to pace.
—Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689–1762) English Aristocrat, Poet, Novelist, Writer
There’s nothing wrong with most men’s egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can’t cure.
—Mignon McLaughlin (1913–83) American Journalist, Author
For a man to strike any women is most brutal, and I, as well as everyone else, think this far worse than any attempt to shoot, which, wicked as it is, is at least more comprehensible and more courageous.
—Queen Victoria (1819–1901) British Royal
How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he’s going to wind up wanting hasn’t even been born.
—Mignon McLaughlin (1913–83) American Journalist, Author
Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It’s possible that both are right.
—Mignon McLaughlin (1913–83) American Journalist, Author
Sometimes I think that the biggest difference between men and women is that more men need to seek out some terrible lurking thing in existence and hurl themselves upon it. Women know where it lives but they can let it alone.
—Russell Hoban (1925–2011) American Novelist, Children’s Writer
Coming to terms with the rhythms of women’s lives means coming to terms with life itself, accepting the imperatives of the body rather than the imperatives of an artificial, man-made, perhaps transcendentally beautiful civilization. Emphasis on the male work-rhythm is an emphasis on infinite possibilities; emphasis on the female rhythms is an emphasis on a defined pattern, on limitation.
—Margaret Mead (1901–78) American Anthropologist, Social Psychologist
Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.
—Remy de Gourmont (1858–1915) French Poet, Novelist, Critic